To us, only kids under the age of 18 really understand the spirit of V-Day. Notes in desks, buying out Archies, sneaking out from school for a date at the nearest Barista, and trying their hand at home baking for their honey.

All sweet, and well intended, but let’s get one thing straight, we’re damn relieved about not having to find a spot for an oversized teddy bear.

A Life-sized Teddy Bear

No, just no, I’d rather make space for a man in my bedroom.

Questionable Jewellery

A birth stone pendant/bracelet/ear studs from Siloffer. The owner probably owes half of his profit to school kids looking to impress.

‘Angel’ Mugs

Anything with the word angel, princess or sweetheart on it. Makes it worse if it’s on a mug.

Anything from Archies

gallery-image-copyImage courtesy: Indiaretailreview

30 store-bought cards, with messages of love that’ll last forever and always. 10 years on, we’re a bit upset we were fooled by terrible marketing. We are also saying no to china dolls of couples on swings.

Stuffed Toys

A big red, furry heart. How many of us let our dogs go to town on it? {Hint—all of us}. If you’re planning on sending stuffed dogs, cats, alligators or sting rays, we’re hoping that you’re preparing to cushion your crushing fall.

Personalised Upholstery

Cushions, blankets or any upholstery with a printed picture of both of us. First of all, let’s finally address the pixelated quality of the picture, and secondly, just no. Speaking of personalised, we are also not on board with ‘picture’-esque photo-frames, clocks or key rings.

Engraved Rings or Lockets

Rings with initials or names engraved. Perhaps this is better than a tattoo, but what if we want to wear the ring long after the relationship? Speaking of which, a heart shaped locket with pictures of the two of us inside. Most importantly, how do people get pictures that small?

Gym Subscription

gymWe can take a hint, okay? But honestly, can you really force someone to get out of bed and their PJs to go workout every morning? More importantly, should you? {Does not mean that gifting a diet chart is okay either}.

Heart-shaped Chocolates

The most overdone gift on this list—a heart shaped chocolate box. We get it, you gave us your heart. We don’t need foil-wrapped heart chocolates to believe you.

Toiletries

Deodorants are a complete no-no. The gift implies that you smell, and not in a good way.

Sexy Man Thongs

Stop trying to make C-strings happen. We’re okay with banana-hammocks only when FRIENDS is a part of the conversation.

Cupcake Bouquets

Okay this is the only present we’d perhaps tolerate even now. But if you ever got one, you’d know you end up eating one too many, and this has direct repercussions on the relationship, so we’re vetoing it.

But on a slightly serious note, LBB’s gifting guide is something you can use to pick out the perfect present for your beloved this Valentines.