How Women Approach Physical Changes They Make To Their Bodies

It is probably a universal feeling that there are parts of our own life that we have no say in. One has little control over their circumstances, and for many even their time and how they choose to spend it. But what we do have control over is our body and its appearance. When I brought this up with my therapist, she told me that acting on impulse, especially when it comes to making physical changes, is a coping mechanism people use to remind themselves of the agency they have over their own lives and actions. This is because the results of this action are instant, and big enough for you to notice all the time. This is also why one feels happy when they give themselves a new look or a makeover.

For centuries, long hair has been associated with femininity. Conventionally, women with long hair are considered to be more attractive, and short-haired women are stereotyped as rebellious and unladylike. There comes a time when many women question and begin to explore their relationship with their feminine side and what it means to them, and changing one’s hair, and getting tattoos and piercings is almost a rite of passage for young women on their journey of getting to know themselves.

This exchange with a friend should suffice. “I come from an extremely conservative family, and I grew up with the belief that policing women’s bodies, what they choose to wear, what the length of their hair should be, how much make-up is acceptable—all these things were considered normal. Only when I was older I realised that my body, which is the one thing I should have the most control over, I had actually had no control over. One day I became so tired of it all,  I got a huge tattoo of Medusa on my forearm. I specifically chose a positioning that was very visible, and a size that you couldn’t look away from. The fallout was huge, what I had imagined would end my life. I don’t regret it one bit.”

I have a habit of asking my friends if they would ever get cosmetic surgery, and, if yes, what would it be. The most common answer, unsurprisingly, is rhinoplasty. But a close second is breast reduction (which I don’t think is cosmetic). The "why?" of it ranges from the fact that their back problems will go away, clothes would finally fit them right, being active would become much more convenient, and, most of all, something they don’t find aesthetically pleasing about themselves would stop being an object of sexualisation by other people.

It is true for women with heavy breasts that even the most non-sexual activities or items of clothing are highly sexualised, just because it is on their body. Many of us are subjected to it from a young age if we were “early bloomers”. It is exhausting.

When I asked a friend, who is Sikh, very religious and god-loving, why she got her hair cut despite her faith not allowing it, to which she said, “I wanted to carve my relationship with my faith on my own terms. The tenets of my religion command you to love yourself as you are naturally, not subject your body, that does so much for you, to scrutiny for the sake of aesthetic. And I think I can have short hair and still do that. I am not a good or bad Sikh woman because I cut my hair. I will be a good Sikh woman if I can first be a good person. And that, I can do.”