So you decided to take things into your own hand and sign up on the dating app. What next? Here’s what to expect when you’re swiping left and right.

The 1997 Pick Up Line Guy

He has scoured the internet high and low, gone through the first seven pages of Google results for “how to pick up women” and decided that “Is your dad a terrorist? Because you’re the bomb” is the best ice breaker. You will never know what he’s looking for because the conversation ends shortly after his greeting.

The Shaadi Guy

shaadiguyThis guy often mistakes Tinder for shaadi.com. From the moment he sees your profile, he has planned his dream wedding with you, the honeymoon {probably Thailand}, the number of kids you’re going to have and of course, their names. Unless you’re looking for the same things, we recommend un-matching immediately.

The “Sapiosexual”

sapiosexualHe avidly follows Word Porn on social media and has read all his English textbooks in school, and maybe even the abridged version of Pride and Prejudice. He fancies conversing with you while typing with one hand and holding a thesaurus in the other.

The Hook Up Guy

hookup2“Wanna have sex?” His straight-forward approach can be quite the breath of fresh air. Or not. Steer clear if you’re looking for long romantic walks down the beach {or the Yamuna?}.

The Phirang

phirangNow you see him, now you don’t; this guy comes with an expiry date. He’s in all likeliness looking for a tour guide to take him to Paharganj, take some rick picks along the way and possibly get a little action. On the plus side, he can sometimes be super cute. Should you swipe right? Maybe.

The Nice Guy

niceguyYes, he exists. When you start talking to him, you can’t stop; partially because you’re so fascinated by this unicorn and partially because you’re testing how long it takes for him to be a fail. But before you know it, he’s on your Whatsapp and your speed dial.

He’s either going to become your BF or your BFF, it can go either way and we’re not complaining.