Keeping Up With The Kylie Lip Kit: Tried & Tested

If you’ve arrived here voluntarily, I have sufficient reason to believe that you’re either:

A make-up enthusiast

A Kardashian enthusiast

My parents

As someone who’s still new to make-up and limits her interest in the Kardashians by keeping up with them on snapchat {Kendall, I love you}, I didn’t really care about people going nuts over a lipstick made by someone younger {and insanely richer} than me. But we all need a reason to live, and having matte lips became my reason quicker than a sassy comeback by Kourtney. So I thought, why not? Just a silly lipkit.

Anyone who’s actually tried to buy the lip kit will tell you this—those babies sell out FAST. This ain’t a game for rookies, son. I did my research on multiple websites and found out that Kylie restocks her lip kit almost every week, except the darn kits sell out in under 10 minutes each time.

After careful planning, three failed attempts, and one pair of lucky underwear, here’s how her restock at 4.30 AM IST on a Monday night went down.

4.15AM: I wake up, curse all of humanity, mutter things about a boy’s life being easier.

4.22AM: All my plastic money cards are in place, I have opened all the right tabs. I am semi-awake, only partly atheist at this point.

4.28AM: I have refreshed the page approximately 9 million times.

4.30AM: EAGLE HAS LANDED. POTUS IS IN THE HOUSE. I AM NAVIGATING THIS LIKE THAT DANCER PRINCE IN OCEAN’S 12.

4.33.24AM: CARD 1 REJECTED.

4.33.36AM: CARD 2 REJECTED.

4.33.42AM: PANIC ATTACK

4.34AM: Found my back-up third card for emergencies only. Of course this qualifies as an emergency. Right? RIGHT?

4.35AM: Order placed successfully, and I’ve made it just in time before she sells out again. Did someone say adventure sports…?

The order itself took almost 10 days to ship, over the course of which Kylie managed to release two new lipstick types {metallics and glosses}, broke up with Tyga once, took her best friend’s sister to a different state for a surprise in her private jet, and started her Coachella weekend.

In the meantime, I managed to finish an entire carton of Chocos in one go.

We decided to see if the lip kit is actually worth the hype by testing it out for the entire day. My choice was Posie K {I purchased Candy K as well}, and after dutifully following the helpful instructions on the back of the pack {Apply lip liner. Fill in your lips. Revolutionary stuff}, I decided to kickstart my day.

10AM:

The seal is open, we’re ready to go Major Tom. While the formula is super smooth to apply, it takes a couple of seconds before it dries off. I was quite happy with one coat itself, and only briefly wondered if matte lipsticks make your lips look like they’re filled in with crayons. I felt absolutely no dryness whatsoever, only crippling awkwardness at about 15 of my colleagues staring at my lips.

11AM: Check emails while drinking my morning mug of green tea and a sandwich. Proceeded by chewing my lips 9,78,645 times because what is this grace you talk of? I also only stared at myself in the mirror once.

Snapchat count: 1

Result: 10/10. The colour hasn’t even moved from my lips yet. It better not; I paid a bomb for this.

1PM: Did someone say lunch? I am HUNGRY, but I need to wrap up two more calls and a couple of emails, so I eat my idli sambhar and proceed to yack away on the phone at the same time. In the middle of all this, I have also chosen to hold my pen in my mouth simply because my standard of hygiene is very high.

Snapchat count: 4

Result: 9.5/10. I’m massively impressed by how the colour hasn’t even moved from my lips yet. 0.5 marks less because I feel my lips going dry, and that’s not cool because now I will proceed to do the worse thing ever—lick my lips non-stop.

3PM: Our in-house photographer might also be dangerously close to pushing me off the balcony where we’re clicking pictures of my face. My colleague Mahima is impressed though, and is passing along encouraging comments about my appearance to keep me going. I make 10 funny faces at the camera.

Snapchat count: 10

Result: 9.5/10. I have forgotten by now that I have anything on my lips to begin with. The lip colour force is strong with this one. There’s a Star Wars reference here somewhere.

5PM: The day is ending. My fellow compatriot Rhea has ordered shawarma from Spice Aangan, which she has generously shared with me {along with dollops of mayonnaise}. You know what this means, right? Messy food is the best!

Snapchat count: 11

Result: 8/10. Colour has faded. Definitely some dryness on my lips, no cracks showing though. I think the mayo did the trick.

7PM: HELLO DRINKS AFTER WORK DAY. I have officially put my lips through copious amounts of water, alcohol, sambhar, idli, chutney, tea, chicken mince, and mayonnaise. Yet my friend Shobhna and I cannot understand how this is happening, because THERE IS STILL LIPSTICK ON MY LIPS. Lighting is dim, so we can’t see much, but we’re convinced that we’ve struck gold.

Snapchat count: Who cares

Result: 7/10

9PM: I’m officially home, wondering if I look like those scary aunties who only have liner on their lips at the end of the day. I’m pleasantly surprised to see that there’s still a tint on my lips, yet removing it is almost impossible with water. Coconut oil is my only friend here.

Snapchat count: Fine, I took one with the doggy filter.

8.5/10

Kylie’s definitely on to something here. This lipstick sticks to you like the eyes of a creepy guy on the metro. While I wasn’t entirely convinced on value for money, I certainly enjoyed the versatility of both the shades I ordered {Posie K and Candy K} as well as how long they lasted.

I don’t really see myself restocking the lip kits once they’re over, but I do believe that this is at level with Mac when it comes to lip staining power as well as the level of matte you achieve. Would definitely recommend to makeup enthusiasts and noobs alike.

Shop at: shop.kyliecosmetics.com

Price: INR  4,800 for two lip kits {including shipping}

Bragging rights: Priceless