By Editors

For every woman and man, whom 50 Shades of Grey did wonders for {we’re 3 of them}, turns out you’ll have to stick to your imagination and pages of the book for any kind of gratification. Mr Grey and Ms Steele will not make it to any big screen in our country. You ask why? We give you three guesses:

1) Someone’s religion has been offended

2) Some old man/minister has taken offense to all the nudity and pillow talk

3) Someone ran out of things to ban today

And it’s 4) ALL OF THE ABOVE!

Government censors have said they will not allow the big screen adaptation of the novel to be shown in the country. The chief executive of the Central Board of Film Certification, Shravan Kumar, has refused to comment about why they’ve made the decision {no prizes for guessing}, but has said Universal Pictures can appeal the decision.

We’re not surprised.

Pull out your iTunes subscriptions, Torrent websites, and Bootleg DVD guys, because that’s the only way you’ll get to go to the Red Room.