My Work Bestie Found Out My CTC And Is Being Nasty

Because the only way they should find out is if you discussed it with them, which is a choice you should be able to make basis what your relationship with the person is like. A lot of times, we don’t feel comfortable sharing how much money we make with even the closest friends, let alone work friends. And access to that information should come only from you. If the leak is from someone in position of authority — such as a manager or an HR personnel, you should take it up with them separately and ask for a clear explanation.

What that conversation should cover:

1. What was the reason or context in which this information was shared with your colleague?

2. Why you were not looped in before this discussion took place? 

3. What were the outcomes they were hoping for when disclosing this information? 

4. Who else has been looped into this discussion? 

On a scale of Emily Charlton scorned by Andy in Devil Wears Prada to Angela from The Office, how mean is your bestie really being with you? If they’re coming from a place of hurt, then the best thing to do is to get them in a room and talk it out. It is not in your control that they were brought in at a lower CTC than you, and they should take responsibility for the misdirected anger at you. On a sidenote, something I always encourage women to do is share negotiation tips. Tell your friend what worked for you during the discussion for your compensation, and that you can work with them on a roadmap to scaling up their role and compensation within the company. This is obviously assuming that the conversation goes well and they don’t turn hostile towards you, at which point I would recommend you to seriously reconsider this friendship.

There is obviously another scenario where they are being unreasonable or harsh towards you. If you think it has crossed the threshold of friendly hazing, then you should involve your manager. Give them a lowdown on the situation and have them front any questions that your friend may have. Let them have the justification without you having to provide it. It would also be beneficial for you if your manager knew what the situation is, should an escalation be needed in the future.

Again, as I said, I would reconsider how close you would want to keep this person, considering they’re actively punishing you for making more money than them, instead of being happy for your growth. And while feeling bad is natural when someone makes more money than you, it speaks volumes of their maturity that they can’t be happy for you.

And that’s all for this month’s gyaan! Send me your questions here, and I’ll answer them in next month's column anonymously, so your thought spiral can stay our little secret.